As the year draws to an end, I've spent some time reflecting back on my 2016 New Year's Resolution. The idea came from a quote by Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things, who wrote "The best thing you can possibly do with your life is to tackle the motherf*cking sh*t out of it." After the knock me down and kick me while I'm there brutality of 2015, my goal for this past year was to come back, in chin-up and shoulder's squared style, swinging. As I remince on this wild, wonderful year, I cannot help but feel as if I truly have. It was hard to feel like I was tackling the sh*t out of life (or really anything for that matter) when I didn't feel safe walking down the street and when I hated to get out of the vehicle because I would undoubtedly be the intended recipient of some lewd comment. Or when I averaged four hours of sleep a night- stressed to the max between cooking for groups of 10-25 people and convincing myself I was not in love with the kind, adventurous, hard-working Manitoban who would make a point to stop by the kitchen to say hi and steal cookies. In addition, I certainly questioned what I was doing as I awoke, day after day, to rain on the shelter roof only to roll over, cry, pull on yesterday's still sweaty/damp clothes, and then hike another 15 miles. Or when I got lost, biked aimlessly around South Anchorage for 2 hours and finally flagged down an ice cream truck to get directions. I shouldn't even mention the maze of plane tickets that were the result of last minute life-decision panic. And, as anyone who has ever stared at the first, meger, 100 words of a 3,000 count essay knows- in those moments nothing gets tackled before chocolate and wine do. But all of those things I never foresaw at the beginning of this year- selling my car, falling in love, moving to Canada- their ensuing difficultues and the hours in between, are precisely what I mean when I claim to have tackled the crap out of this year. In January I aced my interterm course and acknowledged my capacity to write. In February I began to heal through and from the church with drywall dust in my hair. In March I opened myself to the revered ritual of Yoga (and in December I finally managed to hold Bakasana through a breath cycle!). In April I allowed another human being to love me and chose to let myself love him in return. In May I completed a 12-day solo hike on the AT- a 165 mile journey of living out my dreams. In June I learned to be content where I am at- even when it was several thousand miles from with whom I wanted to be. In July I spent a week biking a 30 mile round trip to work just because I could. In August I slept in my brother's car, didn't shower for a week, and climbed both Table Mountain (Tetons) and Pike's Peak. In September I moved to another country. In October I mastered the art of GF/Vegan muffins- a great accompaniment to the homemade peanut butter and nutella I also learned to make. In November I ran 30+ mile weeks. And in December I allowed myself to once-again embrace all the wonderful aspects of my religious upbringing: it's emphasis on community and simplicity, the importance of family, and the Jesus as an example and inspiration for a new social order focused on others. Tackling life--running 9 miles, recieving a comprehensive education, long-term volunteering, standing on top of a mountain, learning to love--involves taking risks. It means realizing you bit off more than you can chew. It involves being cold, wet, and lost. It means sometimes your really frigging nice bike gets stolen during an unnecessary 'getting over you' haircut. It means crying, a lot. But there is unparalleled beauty in the unmapped route. And there is grace, strength, and a springtime of growth in the road untravelled. Most importantly, there is a seed of hope in unconventionality. A seed that is planted in healing, watered with seeking, and brough to full bloom with a life that forgets the powers and patterns that attempt to define our world. A seed I plan to keep on cultivating in 2017.
0 Comments
|
Elizabeth SchragAdventurer. Biblical and Theological Studies major. Borderline Vegan. Rebel with a cause. Archives
March 2017
Categories |